Pårørende til en stressramt

Er du en af de rigtig mange pårørende til stressramte i Danmark, og er du igang med at søge informatin og hjælp til din kære, så læs med her. Stresspsykolog Benita Holt Rasmussen fortæller her lidt om, hvad du som pårørende kan hjælpe med, og hvad du skal være opmærksom på.

Hvordan opdager du, at din kære er ramt af stress?

Stress rammer både meget genkendeligt, men også individuelt. Husk på, at den stressramtes krop er i alarmberedskab, fordi han/hun ikke i øjeblikket har de ressourcer der skal til, for at overkomme de krav (indre eller ydre krav), der stilles. Når kroppens alarmberedskab aktiveres, påvirker det både kroppen rent fysiologisk set, men det påvirker også opmærksomheden og det mentale. Her bliver opmærksomheden mere snæver og negativ, vi får tunnelsyn, og har nemmere ved at få øje på alt det, der er galt i vores liv.

Det er sandsynligvis de adfærdsmæssige stress symptomer, der er nemmest for dig at observere som pårørende. Det kan være, at du har lagt mærke til nogle af punkterne på denne liste over typiske adfærdsmæssige stresssymptomer?:

  • Flere konflikter.
  • Ændringer i spisevaner (overspiser eller glemmer at spise).
  • Øget instag af stimulanser, fx alkohol eller slik/chokolade.
  • Humørsvingninger.
  • Rastløshed.
  • Glemsom
  • Social tilbagetrækning.
  • Nedsat humoristisk sans.
  • Øget sygefravær.

 

Den stressramte ændre sig, og du kan have svært ved at genkende ham/hende, som hun/han plejer at være. For at få en vurdering af, hvor slemt det står til, så prøv at tænke lidt tilbage på, hvornår du først lagde mærke til de første ændringer? Er det et par uger siden, eller flere måneder siden, eller endnu længere? Skete der nogle synlige ændringer i den stressramtes liv på det tidspunkt? Det kan være alt fra, at han/hun fik nyt job, eller blev fyret. Det kan være at han/hun snakkede om, at der er sygemeldte kolleger på jobbet? Er der blevet øget arbejdspres på studiet? Er der konfliker og skænderier på hjemmefronten?
Er symptomerne blevet værre? Hvordan? Nogle af de stresssymptomer, der først kommer efter længere tid stresspåvirkning er kognitive vanskeligheder. Dvs at din stressramte begynder at være glemsom, eller måske virker ufokuseret?

Ofte sker det, at den stressramte selv er blevet ”fartblind”, dvs har vænnet sig til at løbe hurtigere, og derfor ikke selv er klar over, hvor meget han/hun egentlig er ramt af stress. Derfor er det vigtigt, at du som pårørende, hvis du mistænker stress, at du på en sød og ikke-anklagende måde snakker med din kære om, at nu skal der stoppes op.

Hvad kan du som pårørende gøre?

-Bed din stressrante om at gå til egen læge, eller tag med til lægen for at hjælpe med at tegne et nuanceret billede af stressforløbet. Skriv gerne svarene på spørgsmålene omkring varighed og stresssymptomer ned inden.

-Bed din stressramte om at sygemelde sig på arbejdet/til sin nærmeste leder. Det kan også være HR, eller tillidsrepræsentanten, hvis det er en større arbejdsplads. Hvis din stressramte er studerende, så at henvende sig til studie vejleder.

En tommelfingerregl:

Husk at hvis din pårørende har været ude for et egentlig stresskollaps, så er en tommelfingerregl, at han/hun skal sygemeldes på fuld tid i minimum 3 måneder, hvorefter han/hun kan starte langsom op igen med lette opgaver i en  deltidssygemelding over 2-3 måneder. Under deltidssygemeldingen trappes der langsom op med arbejdsopgaver, både mht kompleksitet og arbejdstimer. Se evt plan for tilbagevenden til arbejde her:

 

Efter stress sygemeldingen/den akutte fase:

Hvis din kære allerede er blevet sygemeldt med stress, så er her nogle måder, du kan hjælpe på:

  • Hav tålmodighed og spørg ikkehele tiden om det går bedre. Du er som pårørende med til at sam-skabe den trygge base, som din stresramte har brug for, for at kunne slappe af og restituere.
  • Giv dig tid til at lytte til din stressramte. Der er ikke brug for, at du giver gode råd. Men der er brug for, at du blot lytter, er anerkendende og forstående.
  • Det er helt normalt, at den stressramte har brug for at trække sig fra sociale arrangementer i et stykke tid. Så respekter, at der bliver sagt nej, og hjælp gerne med til at takke nej på den stressramtes vegne.
  • Snak med din stressramte om behovet for hjælp eller behandling. Vær gerne behjælpelig ift at finde en god psykolog eller et stressbehandlingsforløb. Se her for de muligheder der findes hos Det danske Institut for Stress.
  • Hvis din stressramte oplever kognitive udfordringer, dvs har svært ved at huske og have overblik, så vær opmærksom på at tale langsomt og ikke med for mange ord. Hjælp evt med at skrive aftaler ned i en kalender.
  • Spørg om der er andre ting, du kan gøre, eller hvordan du kan være støttende. Du behøver ikke regne det alt sammen ud selv, men det kan være rart blot at spørge, og få en god snak sammen.
  • Sidst men ikke mindst: Pas på din selv som pårørende. Lever du med en stressramt, er det også en ekstra belastning for dig. Så vær opmærksom på dine egne stress symptomer. Ræk ud efter hjælp i din egen omgangskreds, og sørg for, at du også har egentid med omsorg for dig selv.
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